Unarmed hand-to-hand fighting does not change through the ages; only the name changes, and it has only one rule: do it first, do it fast, do it dirtiest. -- Robert Heinlein
Do not get into a fight if you can possibly avoid it, but never hit soft. Don't ever hit a man unless you must, but if you hit him, put him to sleep. -- Theodore Roosevelt
A dog at play has the mind of a wise martial arts master; a mind capable of perfect focus. -- Marc-Christophe
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The Lost Weekend
Greetings, Gentles! I am the Stout Master, and I continue my chronicle of the Antagonistic Buddha's early years, a time when he was still known by his given name, J_____.
Our view of history is somewhat clouded between the time when Scratch hijacked the Drunken Disciples of God and renamed it The Hand, and the moment J_____ bid farewell to the Community of Drunken Scholars. We do know this period was only a matter of a few weeks, but our sources our murky at best. Obviously, this was a bittersweet and even painful time for J_____; so the Antagonistic Buddha is quiet. The usual written records -- yearbooks, school and local newspapers, and the like can corroborate only the most salient facts.
We do know that Tom Collins and J_____ both tendered resignations to Scratch, thought they refused to recognize The Hand, and addressed the letters to the Drunken Disciples of God. The Drunken Master himself remained so besotted with Kate that he remained and participated -- although his inebriation grew worse and worse. Scratch quickly recruited replacements for Tom Collins and J_____, and -- though somewhat embarrassed to do so -- called for another name change vote. J_____ had brought attention to the fact that Marvel Comics might have an Intellectual Property claim on the name, "The Hand." Scratch finally settled on the arguably more sinister sounding, The Left Hand.
It seems that J_____ was happy to leave Scratch and his sycophants -- at least at first. He was able to devote himself to finishing his schooling, complete final exams, and prepare for graduation. His only regret was leaving the Drunken Master. However, there was no reasoning with his old friend.
Graduation weekend would prove to be a turning point in J_____'s life. It began innocently enough with the widespread partying that earned the school the nickname, The Community of Drunken Scholars. However, as the day wore on, J_____, Tom Collins, and even the Drunken Master came under increasing harassment from supporters of The Left Hand. At one point, the friction threatened to become a full-scale brawl, except that the Old Warrior made a sudden appearance in order to have a final word with his protege. The Antagonistic Buddha has never revealed what was said, though there is much speculation which we will address in future posts.
J_____, Tom Collins, and Drunken Master held a private party that evening. All went well until Scratch crashed the party and made a scene. The Drunken Master flew into a rage and threatened Scratch before melting onto the carpet in a torrent of tears over Kate. J_____ and Tom Collins closed the party and ushered everyone out. Then they decided to sober up their friend by getting a late dinner and some strong coffee into him. They took him to the closest all-night diner.
They took him the Drunken Master to the Lincoln Diner.
Our view of history is somewhat clouded between the time when Scratch hijacked the Drunken Disciples of God and renamed it The Hand, and the moment J_____ bid farewell to the Community of Drunken Scholars. We do know this period was only a matter of a few weeks, but our sources our murky at best. Obviously, this was a bittersweet and even painful time for J_____; so the Antagonistic Buddha is quiet. The usual written records -- yearbooks, school and local newspapers, and the like can corroborate only the most salient facts.
We do know that Tom Collins and J_____ both tendered resignations to Scratch, thought they refused to recognize The Hand, and addressed the letters to the Drunken Disciples of God. The Drunken Master himself remained so besotted with Kate that he remained and participated -- although his inebriation grew worse and worse. Scratch quickly recruited replacements for Tom Collins and J_____, and -- though somewhat embarrassed to do so -- called for another name change vote. J_____ had brought attention to the fact that Marvel Comics might have an Intellectual Property claim on the name, "The Hand." Scratch finally settled on the arguably more sinister sounding, The Left Hand.
It seems that J_____ was happy to leave Scratch and his sycophants -- at least at first. He was able to devote himself to finishing his schooling, complete final exams, and prepare for graduation. His only regret was leaving the Drunken Master. However, there was no reasoning with his old friend.
Graduation weekend would prove to be a turning point in J_____'s life. It began innocently enough with the widespread partying that earned the school the nickname, The Community of Drunken Scholars. However, as the day wore on, J_____, Tom Collins, and even the Drunken Master came under increasing harassment from supporters of The Left Hand. At one point, the friction threatened to become a full-scale brawl, except that the Old Warrior made a sudden appearance in order to have a final word with his protege. The Antagonistic Buddha has never revealed what was said, though there is much speculation which we will address in future posts.
J_____, Tom Collins, and Drunken Master held a private party that evening. All went well until Scratch crashed the party and made a scene. The Drunken Master flew into a rage and threatened Scratch before melting onto the carpet in a torrent of tears over Kate. J_____ and Tom Collins closed the party and ushered everyone out. Then they decided to sober up their friend by getting a late dinner and some strong coffee into him. They took him to the closest all-night diner.
They took him the Drunken Master to the Lincoln Diner.
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