Quotes

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. -- Dave Barry

Strategy is the craft of the warrior. -- Miyamoto Musashi

I am undefeated in all of Asia. Of course, I have never fought in any of Asia. Which pretty much guarantees I'm undefeated there. -- Anonymous

The Unexpected

The cup is before us. You look for the tea, but note with delight my sake bottle.

Expect the Unexpected.

I pour sake for you.

A young samurai swordsman had bee making quite a name for himself in the provinces, and after defeating a particularly renowned opponent, he felt confident enough to journey to Edo. He sought a duel with Yagyu Jubei Mitsuyoshi, the kenjutsu instructor to the Shogun.

Jubei was a fearsome sight for the young man. He looked a bit wild, and sported an eye patch to mask a dueling injury. Jubei inspected the young man and called for his servant, Gentatsu. Gentatsu hobbled into the courtyard on a crutch.

"If you can defeat Gentatsu with your sword," Jubei said to the young samurai, "Then I will fight you."

"You want me to fight this cripple? Don't be ridiculous."

"I have taught Gentatsu all the rudiments of martial art," said Jubei, "You will find him a worthy opponent."

The samurai drew his sword and took up an aggressive posture. Gentatsu bowed and shuffled into position in front of the young man.

The samurai stepped forward screaming, and Gentatsu leaped out of the way of the coming strike. Gentatsu's hands flicked, and the young samurai fell dead to the ground. A half-dozen shuriken were embedded in his chest.

"When will these men learn that there is more to martial arts then just swordplay?" asked Gentatsu.

Again, that is enough sake.

Thank you for spending time with the Antagonistic Buddha.

Deshi's Report

Spring has arrived! Training has been interrupted by our efforts to clean the gardens of the wintry debris and bring life again to the rows.

We are not completely self-sufficient, but we do grow a significant proportion of our own food. So all hands were necessary to clean this past week. Unfortunately, no one remembered to update this blog; and so, constant readers, we were unable to explain our absence to you.

A thousand apologies.

In penance, we shall endeavor to provide some of our recipes to you at a later date. If it seems out of place that cloistered warriors would revel in culinary arts, remember that food is a celebration of life.

Our training has not been completely neglected, instead we use our current labors as a testing ground for our skills. The Great Sage himself cleared some fallen branches and used his tomahawk to chop wood into manageable pieces for the compost heap. Others have found wood suitable for working into training tools. And some are content to condition their bodies through the hard labor.

Quotes

The ninja, unholy master of terror. No one will admit they still exist. -- ad copy for The Octagon

The reason why Kajukenbo practitioners wear black gis is you didn't have to wash it as often and it hid the blood stains better! -- Kajukenbo founder founder Grandmaster Adriano Emperado

When an old man is able to defeat many attackers, how could it be due to his strength? -- Wang Chung Yueh

Quotes

One of the most striking features of karate is that it may be engaged in by anybody, young, or old, strong or weak, male or female. -- Gichin Funakoshi.

Kempo fits itself to you, not the other way around. -- Shoalin Kempo Grandmaster Fred Villari

Firm footwork is the fount from which springs all offense and defense. -- Giacomo diGrasse

Deshi's Report: Recruiting Efforts

Greetings! I am Deshi; a pupil of the Antagonistic Buddha.





Recent emails through this website have inquired about joining our training with the Antagonistic Buddha; the Great Sage.





Our path is not every one's path. We have many means of recruitment, though generally prospective students embark upon our path long before they realize it.





In my case, I answered a blind advertisement similar to this one:

Following this, I experienced a series of seemingly serendipitous encounters that put me in contact with the Great Sage's disciples. Finally, after much preparation, I made the traditional, arduous climb to join the community.

I am sorry I can not be more specific. If you are meant to join us, you will know when you are ready what to do...

Quotes

If you can't beat your computer at chess, try it at kickboxing. -- Anonymous

Under the sword lifted high
There is hell making you tremble:
But go ahead,
And you have the land of bliss.
-- Miyamoto Musashi

All martial artists are beginners; some of us have just been beginning longer! -- J.R. West

A Day in the Life

I am the Stout Master, and I continue my chronicle of the Antagonistic Buddha's life. I answered a summons to the Antagonistic Buddha's quarters. He greeted me and invited me to sit with him. He seemed pensive.

"Stout Master, I noticed your work on the Old Warrior seemed curt."

"Perhaps, Great Sage. But I tried to relay what you have told us."

He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, and massaged it gently. A smile flickered across his face as he finished, "Yes, perhaps I have been reticent about my relationship with him."

The Antagonistic Buddha poured himself a Jameson. He held up a second tumbler and looked at me. I waved the unspoken offer away. He sat down opposite me.

"He was not an easy teacher, you know."

"Please," I said, "What was he like?"

"Breathe out... slowly... do not gulp," said the Old Warrior.

J_____ lay flat on the forest floor. He was dressed in a black sweatshirt and camouflage pants. The Old Warrior, with his pet crow Odin perched on his shoulder, stood on J_____'s abdomen. J_____ struggled to lift the Old Warrior with every inhalation, and his muscles ached.

"If you do not breathe correctly, you do not move correctly."

J_____ grunted and groaned. Odin cackled.

"Pitiful," The Old Warrior sighed, "I can see the deadly hamburger has done its evil work."

"Am I in hell?" J_____ wheezed.

"Not yet," replied the Old Warrior. He stepped off J_____. Odin took wing and alighted on a nearby limb.

J_____ stumbled to his feet and brushed off the dirt and dead leaves, "You know, sir, there are times when I really like you."

"Of course," The Old Warrior said, grinning.

"And there are times when I could really kill you."

"Good! We will practice that next."

The Old Warrior raised his walking staff and took a fighting stance. J_____ searched the underbrush for a stick. The Old Warrior circled.

"You move like a pregnant yak," taunted the Old Warrior, then he launched a series of strikes before J_____ could arm himself.

"Hey!" cried J_____, "Give me a chance; I'm still learning."

"To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn," The Old Warrior swung with a second flurry of attacks.

"Jesus!" J_____ shouted. He rubbed his side where the stick struck him.

"Concentrate! This is no time for prayer."

J_____ focused and assumed a defensive posture. The Old Warrior attacked again. J_____ managed to intercept -- painfully -- about half of the strikes.

"Your reflexes are pitiful! The seasons move faster!"

"Why are you always criticising me?" J_____ avoided a single thrust, dropped quickly and came up with a thick branch.

"He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions," answered the Old Warrior.

The two men exchanged mighty blows in a whirlwind of sticks. These freeplay sessions in the woods were meant to break J_____ of the bad habits he acquired in dojo training. His footwork was more narrow to stay balanced in the uneven terrain and he looked for obstacles that might snag his weapon in flight.

J_____ inserted his stick between the Old Warrior's wrists and twisted. He managed to disarm the Old Warrior, and J_____ surprised himself with the move.

Taking advantage of the gap in J_____'s defenses, the Old Warrior simply snatched the short stick out of J_____'s hand. The Old Warrior tossed the stick under a bush and smiled. J_____ frowned and continued to attack bare handed. Punch after kick after punch flew at the Old Warrior. The Old Warrior avoided the strikes by blending and flowing into the dead space just in front of J_____.

"Pathetic. You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums."

J_____ grew angry and switched to Drunken Boxing. The Old Warrior took one of J_____'s wrists and twisted sharply. J_____ flipped in mid-air and crashed onto the ground.

"Your temper is very quick, my student. But until you learn to master your rage..."

"'My rage will become my master?' That's what you were going to say. Right? Right?"

Odin flew down and perched on the Old Warrior's shoulder. He frowned, "Not necessarily."

Quotes

Never leave an enemy standing. -- Shaka Zulu

The teaching of one virtuous person can influence many; that which has been learned well by one generation can be passed on to a hundred. -- Jigoro Kano

Deja Fu: the feeling that somewhere, somehow you've been kicked in the head like this before. -- Anonymous

A Proper Base

We approach the empty cup.

You have been patient while I addressed some of the preliminaries of training; such as the proper wearing of the uniform, the rudiments of fitness through running, and stretching. Although much more could be said at this point, I want to begin on the fundamentals of training. We shall return at some later date to the details of belts, or the advanced exercises of the Aiki Taiso and Judo conditioning. Now we turn to the essence of self-defense: kamae.

I pour tea into your cup.

Kamae is often translated as "posture" or "stance." As we shall see, this is a gloss on the meaning and can misdirect the student's attention. For the moment, however, it shall suffice. The image of an aggressive stance goes hand-in-glove with the proper image of martial arts. However, we shall see that proper kamae need not appear threatening in true Budo.

What is the proper way to stand? Fortunately, Budoka do not need to relearn how to stand so much as understand how to stand efficiently. There is no special way to stand.

Please follow with me as I describe. Get out of your chair and take to your feet. Breathe in deeply and exhale slowly. Relax; just let your arms hang naturally at your sides. Look straight ahead. This is a comfortable, natural stance for you. It is possible that like many Americans you have conditioned yourself to stand awkwardly and now feel comfortable in bad posture. Let us explore a proper stance in more detail and you may consider any differences.

Please balance yourself on your two feet. The weight should rest in your feet; that is, not on your heels or excessively in the toes. Your knees should remain flexed, not locked. If balanced correctly, you should find your feet about shoulder width apart.

Are your shoulders back? Push your chest out slightly and bring the shoulders back. This should create a shallow, inward curve in your lower back. Now, slightly tense your abdominals. Let the arms simply dangle to the sides.

Your neck should not be pitched forward. If it is, tilt your head back and very slightly tuck your chin.

You may feel like a soldier standing at attention. You'll want to maintain the confident feeling, but discard the tension that may accompany this posture. Relax; breathe in and out -- draw the air into your abdomen.

You are now standing in Shizen no Kamae -- our first posture. Hopefully, it is not too far off from the stance in which you began. Shizen is a natural posture. I consider it a neutral posture. Your shoulders are over your hips, which are over your knees, which are over your feet. You are on balance, but prepared to move in any direction. Yet you are not in any obvious state of attack or defence. Shizen is common to many Budo.

Let us take another neutral stance. Make a comfortable step forward with your right foot. Do not think too hard about this -- just step. Your foot should touch the ground somewhat closer to your centerline in order to maintain your balance. Now turn your left foot out so both feet form an "L"-shape. The heels should be in a line.

Turn your upper body so you are facing the same direction that your right foot is pointing. If you are comfortable and on balance, then you are standing in Migi Hanmi no Kamae. This posture can be made more active by bringing your hands into play.

This same posture, with the left foot forward is Hidari Hanmi no Kamae.

Please step back into Shizen no Kamae. Again, don't fret about shifting the feet any particular way; just step naturally. Now -- please humor me -- step back into Migi Hanmi no Kamae. Then return to Shizen.

It is important to understand that kamae are not static postures. Kamae are snapshots of the body in proper (i.e. balanced and protected) movement. Grasping the intimate relationship of kamae to movement will make the final point easier to understand.

Students will ask dozens of questions about kamae: how is my weight distributed? Where do my hands go? Where do my feet go? How deep do I bend my knees? Questions demand answers, and the teacher too often provides them. The teacher will describe the "perfect" kamae, when in reality, the student will never experience such a posture outside the controlled environment of the dojo.

Kamae vary with the situation. Kamae flow in response to the opponents. The more one practices, the more one recognizes that certain postures promote balance and protection and mobility. Also, the Budoka realizes there is no such thing as a perfect kamae.

An apology

I apologize for not having a longer message today. An emergency demanding our attention has announced itself. All of our resources are converging upon the threat.

Please rest assured that we are out for justice. We shall not rest until the threat has been neutralized.

Thank you for spending time with the Antagonistic Buddha.

Quotes

Never give a sword to a man who can not dance. -- Anonymous

A ninja is a silent wraith with a razor-edged blade in one hand and a scaling grapple in the other. Ninjas can penetrate the most sophisticated defense and leave without a trace. They are mystic swordsman, spies, acrobats, quick-change artists and conjurers. -- Larry Hama, writer.

That which does not kill us, must have missed us. -- Miowara Tomokato

Deshi's Report: The Art of Deception

I, Deshi, deliver my report on this week's training.

As I have mentioned before, most of us studying with the Antagonistic Buddha arrived as accomplished martial artists. The mythology and mistaken notions so many ordinary people carry regarding martial arts have already been purged. We are realists about our training. Long hours of hard training have taught us that skill comes through work, and is paid for in sweat, tears, and -- not infrequently -- blood and injury. We put little stock in the mystical.

We finished a session this week and the class began to disperse. One of the older students muttered a joke to his partners about how the technique we'd been practicing would've been easier if he had the power to cloud men's minds. This jest caught the Antagonistic Buddha's attention.

The Great Sage clapped -- the sound split the air like thunder -- and called the class back to attention.

"Clarke made it clear: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

The students watched the Great Sage expectantly.

"Technology is applied science. What else is martial arts but applied science? We take advantage of physics at every opportunity. Should our application of science end with physics? The power you are joking about is merely applied psychology.

"Sonshi wrote: All warfare is based upon deception. For example, a quick feint to the head draws the opponent's guard so you may strike elsewhere. Do we not apply psychology when we exploit misdirection? This is Kyojutsu -- an exchange of truth and lies. Kyojutsu is related to the feats of Genjutsu."

We looked as each other, for few of us had heard this term before. The Great Sage sensed our confusion and so, he demonstrated the "Unbendable Arm," and then the "Immovable Seat." He invited students to test him on these. None could budge him, and many were amazed.

The Antagonistic Buddha shook his head, "These are but parlor tricks. Genjutsu is nothing but stage magic. I am manipulating your minds through feats of physics. You believe you see the impossible because you are distracted."

He then explained how these tricks work. (Please note: when I told the Great Sage of my topic this week, he asked me not to divulge the "secrets." The truly curious can easily find out how to perform these feats, but it is not our job to make it easy for the unscrupulous.)

"The tricks of Genjutsu are useless in and of themselves. But you may employ Genjutsu to unbalance your opponent's mind strategically. Misdirect their attention so it is difficult for them to assess your true ability.

"Let your opponents enhance your legend for you. It was said, for example, that a Shaolin Monk could walk through walls; but it was not a Shaolin Monk who said this. Likewise, most people will tell you that ninja do not exist; but that is exactly what the ninja want you to believe."

He smiled at this.

"As you advance here, you will learn to use seemingly magical abilities. But you will also learn the ordinary nature and limitations of them. There is nothing mystical and mysterious about clouding a man's mind. Women have been doing this since before history."

Quotes

The time to strike is when the opportunity presents itself. -- Attributed to Isshinryu Karatedo

It's not just self-defense... it's about self control, body discipline, and mind discipline... and breath techniques. It involves yoga. It involves meditation. It's an art, not a sport. -- Elvis Presley

"Ow" is not a Kenpo word. -- Jonathan Vance