The Great Sage's Sojourn among the Community of Drunken Scholars

Greetings, Gentles. The Stout Master continues his report:

So... The Great Sage's public life truly begins with his stay among the so-called "community of drunken scholars." With effort, I have traced his records and movements under the Antagonistic Buddha's given name, J_____. I discovered he was enrolled as a student in a small, liberal arts, and religiously-affiliated university nestled in the Catoctin Mountains of Maryland. It is not the kind of institution that would appreciate the truth of being referred to as a "community of drunken scholars," and I choose to respect their privacy enough not to name them outright.

Through a simply subterfuge, I was able to obtain J_____'s academic record. On the surface, it describes the life of any full-time college student. J_____ majored in History and English. There is no record of disciplinary action. By all indications, our interest lies in his life outside the classroom. This was the place in which he met his first two mentors: The Drunken Master, and the Old Warrior.

We also know that it was here J_____'s heart was first broken. beyond that bald fact, however, there is only mystery...

Now I shall profile the Drunken Master, an irascible character. Of his mentor, the Great Sage recalls, " He was a smooth talker with an export cigarette. I don't believe I ever saw him without a cocktail in his hand." In a jungle filled with party animals, the Drunken Master as a lion. Ironically, though the Great Sage clearly recalls the expensive cigarettes favored by the Drunken Master, he has no memory of seeing them smoked. In retrospect, says the Great Sage, "it would've affected his kung fu."

The Drunken Master was an adherent of Zui Quan, or "Drunken Boxing." He took great delight in the erratic movements of the style. Afternoons often found him -- drink in hand, of course -- on the Quad practicing his "Monkey King Stealing Wine" form to the delight of passing girls.

This was another aspect of the Drunken Master's personality -- a magnetic attraction for the opposite sex. "I don't believe I ever saw him without a kitten on his hand," says the Antagonistic Buddha.

Despite the potential distractions, apparently the Drunken Master was exceptionally brilliant. He studied philosophy and Business. After graduation, the Drunken Master went to work on Wall Street and made a fortune through investment legerdemain. In mid-2008, the Drunken Master withdrew his savings, liquidated his assets, and promptly disappeared from New York City. It is the Antagonistic Buddha's belief that it was this single action that destabilized the world economy. But I digress.

We shall explore the relationship between the Drunken Master and the Antagonistic Buddha in our next posting.