Sunday, March 8, 2009

The "Forest Goblin"


Greetings, Gentiles! I am the Stout Master, and we now return to my chronicle of the Antagonistic Buddha's early years, when he was known by his given name, J_____. In my last installment, J_____ met a mysterious stranger in the woods.

The stranger was, of course, the gnarled Old Warrior and the man who would become J_____'s second major mentor during his stay among the community of Drunken scholars.

As I reported last time, the Antagonistic Buddha has related that the Old Warrior's first words to him were, "I've been waiting for you. And we need to talk." However, the Great Sage has left the exact nature of these words a mystery. Obviously, they did talk, and given their continued association, we must assume that whatever the Old Warrior's need was, it was met. Although the Great Sage maintains many mysteries about his mentor, he has shared much as well.

The Old Warrior was no saint. He was a troublemaker in his youth, and told J_____ he was caught up with "drinking, gambling and women; breaking hearts and playing with guns." Trouble like that put him in front of a judge who offered the young man a sober choice: jail, or the Marine Corps. He chose the Corps and never regretted it. He loved the Corps, and often said of it, "No greater friend, no worse enemy." It was an outlet for his interests and boundless energy. He kept volunteering for more advanced training and dangerous duty. He became a Recon Marine and raised his hand one too many times...

The Old Warrior volunteered for an ill-defined secondment to a shadowy unit with an innocuous-sounding name, the "Studies and Observation Group." He landed in Southeast Asia and was promptly assigned to a small team of Army personnel. The mission, he discovered, was to "study and observe" the enemy in his own backyard from as close as he could get. The Old Warrior had a talent for sneaking around and also for keeping his teammates alive. Despite being a relatively junior NCO and a Marine in a largely Army unit, he was selected as a team leader or "One-Zero."

His exemplary work in special reconnaissance got him selected for other duties. Most of these duties are best left undescribed, but he once told J_____,"Even now, every time I dream, I hear the men and the monkeys in the jungle scream." Through most of the war, the Old Warrior worked with a partner, Tex, an Army Special Forces NCO cut from the John Wayne mold.

The Antagonistic Buddha looks sad when he quotes his mentor's memories of this long ago war: "Well, I remember one night, Tex and me rappelled in on a hot LZ. We had our 16's on rock'n'roll and with all of that fire I was scared and cold. I was crazy, and I was wild. And I have seen the tiger smile. I spit in a bamboo viper's face, and I'd be dead but by God's grace." The Antagonistic Buddha has said the Old Warrior changed his view of war, warriors, and the warrior arts.

After their first conversation, J_____'s trips into the woods were different. The Old Warrior began teaching J_____ woodcraft, J_____ learned to make a debris shelter. He learned to collect water in the wild: form dew, from rain, even by distillation. He learned to track and stalk. J_____ learned that tracking animals was far more difficult than tracking any human, even an experienced woodsman. Eventually, J_____ could survive, in relative comfort, for a week with nothing more than a sturdy Ka-Bar knife.

The Old Warrior taught J_____ his other skills -- the "dark arts" as he called them. These skills included, among others, sentry removal. "It doesn't take much skill to sneak-up on a guard at Three in the morning in the woods. It's a very different level of skill to sneak up on an alert sentry standing on a gravel road at Three in the afternoon. The Old Warrior could do that." J_____ learned to tie-up and secure a captive. He learned to lay an ambush. He learned to knife fight. The Old Warrior taught J_____ the martial arts he learned while stationed in Japan, including a rough style of Jodo.

When the Old Warrior had taught J_____ everything he knew, he gave J_____ two symbolic gifts: the Ka-Bar he carried through Asian jungles, and Tex's Ranger Tab. The Great Sage has always kept these items securely in a keepsake box with other mementos of the Antagonistic Buddha's travels and education.


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